The Fate of Being A Woman? Containing Fear, Anxieties and Insecurities in Post-Apartheid Higher Education Institutions

This presentation responds to the void in research on women in leadership from autoethnographcial perspectives in the Post-apartheid South African context of higher education institutions (HEIs).

The authors use an autoethnographical lens based on the theoretical frame of systems psychodynamics to explore their experiences on the unconsciousness level. The aim of this paper is to reflect on women`s experiences in HEI drawing on concepts of systems psychodynamics in organisations. The research methodology used is autoethnographic in nature, displaying women`s subjective experiences within HEIs over a period of 15 years. As an autoethnographic approach, the authors use diary notes, field notes, personal documents to reconstruct the memory . The sample consists of two academic women who have worked in higher education institutions for over 15 years, several of these years as professors. The findings show that women leaders take on roles within their organisations which are bound to feelings of fear and anxieties. They become containers of these insecurities floating around in organisations and connect them with experiences of racial belonging, segregation, gender, national belonging, marginalization and authority.

The research is limited to autoethnographic experiences, but provides important insights into the psychoanalytical approaches regarding the psyche, the feelings and experiences of two women of diverse cultural, language, national and professional background working in HEIs.